Choosing Myself: Embracing Life’s Unexpected Turns

There was a time in my life, about 8 years ago, when I thought everything was falling apart. I received a DUI, lost my driver’s license for five years, and felt as though my world had come crashing down. The fines, the embarrassment, the struggle while being a single mom, I didn’t think I could afford it all, and I wasn’t sure how I would deal with it all. The pain of that experience felt very scary at the time. For a while, I blamed and punished myself for my mistake.

Shortly after the DUI, I was promoted at my job and received a raise. It seemed like things were going to be okay. Suddenly, my landlord sold the duplex where I lived. I loved my home, it was affordable, and my neighbors had become my friends. But the new landlord had different plans, kicking out my neighbors and moving in next door. I found him to be unsettling, and it made me realize that it was time to find a new place to live.

A year before that, I had told a friend that I wasn’t going to move unless I found a place on the beach. I didn’t know how I would make that happen, but it was something I wanted in my life. I also, wanted to go back to school and get a degree but I was always so busy and never made time for it.

A Dream to Live by the Beach: The Start of a New Journey

When I finally made the decision to move out, the promotion and raise allowed me to not only afford the DUI fines but also to afford a new and more expensive place. Little did I know, I would end up finding a condo right on the water, with its own private beach.

Being able to walk to the beach and kiteboard whenever the wind was blowing onshore became a newfound joy in my life. It felt like the universe had provided me with exactly what I needed, even though it had all started with something that seemed like a setback. Losing my license and facing those challenges forced me to make changes that led me to a life I never imagined. I could still enjoy my passion for kiteboarding, and I could do so just walking distance from my new home. I also decided to take the time to go back to college, take online classes and complete my A.S. in Computer Programming and Analysis.

A Blessing in Disguise: Path to Transformation

Looking back, I see that what seemed like a series of unfortunate circumstances was actually a blessing in disguise. It taught me that sometimes life’s hardest moments lead to a blessing. My journey with the DUI and everything that followed helped me realize that even in the face of adversity, there’s always a path forward, one that often leads to something far better than we expected.

We all experience moments that shake us to our core and bring us to our knees, whether through an unexpected shift in circumstances or a personal betrayal. For the longest time, I blamed and punished myself constantly for my mistakes, sometimes wondering what did I do or didn’t do and why life seemed to be working against me.

Then one day, I felt an awakening. I realized I deserved better in life and only I truly give that to myself. Although driving while under the influence was my mistake, there are other times in life when we do all the right things yet unfortunate events still occur. On the outside, I could only do my best with what is given to us, make better choices but internally I have control of my perspective, thoughts and my feelings. I realized, I was worthy of happiness, stability, and growth. That moment of awakening changed everything and I went from a victim to accepting life as it was. Life was just helping me grow, I can’t always control what happens outside of me but I can choose my perspective which can help change how I feel.

The Moment I Chose Myself

Although I say no one taught me what I know today, at some point, I turned to self-help and spiritual books for guidance. I didn’t have a single guide or teacher, but through my life experiences, my intuition, my heart, and the wisdom I gained from reading, I found the support I needed. These resources, combined with my personal journey, became my greatest guides, leading me toward healing, self-love, and trust in myself.

I started practicing forgiveness, not just for others, but for myself. Little by little, I let go of the pain I had been holding onto. I stopped seeing myself as unworthy or broken and instead saw myself as deserving and evolving. I realized that only I can give myself that which I deserve by allowing in that which I deserve and by letting go that which does not feel truly good to me. I chose to believe that life wasn’t happening to me but for me. I choose to see the unfortunate shift of circumstances as blessing in disguise and a time to reflect, to reset, renew myself and to grow.

From that moment of awakening, I learned to view life’s twists and turns as opportunities to grow. It wasn’t always easy, but it became clear that life was constantly presenting me with challenges that, though painful, were always leading me to something greater. This is where the lessons began to truly unfold…

Life as a Mirror: A New Perspective

Life has a way of showing us exactly what we need to see. It is always presenting people and situations that reflect our fears, our wounds, our hidden strength or what we really admire and what we want more of in our lives. When certain challenges reappeared, whether through relationships or unexpected detours, I no longer felt like a victim and sometimes if I do, it does not linger for long. I remind myself to see them as messengers, guiding me toward deeper healing and transformation constantly helping me grow.

Most times, the most difficult experiences hold wisdom. They push us out of our comfort zones, forcing us to grow in ways we don’t really expect, guiding us to a life we never imagined. When I look back, I see that every unexpected twist was actually leading me toward something better,  even when it didn’t feel that way at the time.

The Power of Self-Love and Gratitude

Today, I choose to love, nurture myself and accept life and its twist and turns. I hold space for the little girl in me, the teenager, the adult, the versions of myself that once felt lost. I embrace my past and present, knowing that everything has unfolded exactly as it should, guiding and supporting me on my growth.

I believe in unconditional love, not just for others, but for myself. No matter what life throws my way, I trust that I am on the right path. Change no longer feels like punishment; it feels like guidance and it’s up to me to decide whether I make the necessary inner and outer changes for my new life to unfold. And most importantly feel deep gratitude for everything and every moment in my life.

If You’re Struggling, You’re Not Alone

If you are going through something right now, know that you are not alone. Life’s twists and turns can feel isolating, but healing is always possible. You can choose to love yourself deeper. You can trust that even in the uncertainty, you are being led to something greater. However, you must decide and take action to make the necessary changes within yourself.  

No matter what you’ve been through, you are worthy. You are loved. And your story is still unfolding in ways more beautiful than you can imagine.