I am not a victim of my circumstances.
But I will say this—living with PMDD has changed my life in ways I never expected. It has challenged me deeply… in painful ways, in breaking ways… but also in ways that have shaped me into who I am becoming.
And strangely enough, there has been beauty in that too.
Because the truth is, the hormonal shifts that come with PMDD can be overwhelming. They can take you to very low places.
When It Took Me to My Lowest
I’ve experienced moments where I felt completely lost in it… moments where heartbreak, mixed with those emotions, brought me to a point where I didn’t recognize myself… where I even had thoughts of hurting myself.
And that’s hard to say out loud.
But even in that darkness… something in me woke up.
The Choice That Changed Everything
It brought me to a moment where I had to make a real choice:
How do I want to live my life?
Not just survive it… but truly live it.
And that’s where my healing began.
I started working on myself in ways I never had before. I turned to movement, to journaling, to affirmations, to being more intentional with my thoughts, my habits, and my energy. I started doing everything I could to support myself… to rebuild myself… to create a life that actually felt good to live in.
Learning to Create Balance
Because I realized something important:
When you live with something like PMDD, how your life is going matters.
The stress you carry… the people you surround yourself with… the way you treat your body… it all shows up, especially in your lowest phases.
So I had to learn how to create balance.
And let me be honest—it’s not perfect. Life is still life. Stress still comes. Unexpected things still happen. I still have moments where I fall back into old patterns.
Becoming Intentional With My Life
But now, I’m aware.
And that awareness changed everything.
I became more intentional about the life I was creating. Not just in the big dreams—the adventures, the things that light my soul on fire—but in the small, everyday choices.
Who I allow into my life.
Who I need to let go of.
What I eat.
How I rest.
How I speak to myself.
Every little thing matters.
Choosing Myself, Again and Again
And while I’m far from perfect—I still have days where I don’t care, where I slip, where I choose things that don’t fully support me—I always come back.
I choose again.
Because that’s what this journey has taught me:
Every single day is a choice.
A choice to take care of myself.
A choice to be better than yesterday.
A choice to keep going… even when it’s hard.
And yes—sometimes I let myself live a little too. Because life isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real.
It’s about learning how to hold both:
The discipline… and the freedom.
The healing… and the living.
And in that space… I’ve found my way back to myself, over and over again.
I may not control what I go through, but I’ve learned how to choose myself through it—and that has changed everything.
If you’re new to PMDD or want to understand it more deeply, I shared more about my journey with it here:
👉 Understanding PMDD: My Journey to Diagnosis and Management
Journal Prompt for You
What would it look like to create a life that feels safe and nourishing for me?
If you’re ready to live more intentionally, explore your inner world, and get into true alignment with what you desire… my Reiki-infused guided journals are here to support your journey.
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